tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36605590024074207992024-03-14T00:19:15.544-07:00Hearts On Fire for FamilyPhil Gentilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13243792048276309428noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3660559002407420799.post-18634210389994915952014-12-19T12:44:00.001-08:002014-12-19T12:44:51.190-08:00This Ain't Disneyworld!
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The pink cloud has dissipated.</div>
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The puppy dogs and kittens have all
gone on to greener pastures.</div>
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The euphoria surrounding the
finalization of the adoption and the relief that “it is done” has
faded like the last warm rays of a summer sunset. Now the business
of parenting begins in earnest.</div>
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This parenting thing is no walk in the
park even under “normal” conditions. If you are parenting
teenagers that last phrase would be an oxymoron! If anyone has any
doubts about it, we are not operating under “normal” conditions.</div>
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As any parent of a teenager can attest,
you struggle with lots of attitude from the mouths, body language and
icy stares of the little chreubs. Struggles with raging hormones,
wildly vacillating emotions, low self-esteem, loneliness and poor
self-image a but a few of the delights facing parents of teens. Add
in a pinch of the negative onslaught coming from todays music,
television, drugs, alcohol and just plain old bad influences and you
have the makings of a powder keg.</div>
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Now imagine throwing into this volatile
mix a history of abandonment, emotional trauma, physical abuse or
self-installed high walls to protect your inner most self; and
that's just a small sample of what an orphan has to deal with.</div>
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It has been six months since we first
met K in Jaycee's kitchen. In many ways we've learned a lot about
each other but in some aspects we don't know jack. There have, no
doubt, been countless wonderful moments where we all seem to let our
guards down and share in the moments of family. There have been
Cheshire cat-like smiles when he proudly shows us his grades from
school. He so wants to please and receive that affirmation of
affection … that “Atta boy”! Don't we all? How much more does
he want it … dare say, need it … after all these years with no
one there to pat him on the back?</div>
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But there have also been some dark
moments that seem to well up and burst forth over those defensive
parapets. Sometimes it's a matter of misunderstanding and struggling
through the difficulties of language barriers. Other times it comes
from a much deeper place in him – a place filled with hurt and
anger. Lots of hurt and lots of anger.</div>
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No, no one ever said that parenting was
easy. It's the most difficult job on the planet. But we persevere.
We assure him that we love him. We reaffirm our commitment to our
family – a family of which he is an integral part. We also show
steadfastness when it comes to expectations and what it means to be a
part of a family. We try our best to understand that this notion is
completely new him – the notion of a loving family that cares about
him. We don't always succeed at that.</div>
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This is going to take quite a bit of
patience, love and resilience. We know there will be times when we
say to ourselves, “We could have done better on that.” But one
thing is for sure. We never go back on our commitment to love.</div>
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Never, ever.</div>
Phil Gentilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13243792048276309428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3660559002407420799.post-40396949255748674072014-11-06T23:27:00.001-08:002014-11-06T23:55:32.471-08:00Kristofer Timothy Gentile<br />
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I like words. I like to write them and I especially like to read them. But on days like this words are woefully inadequate. They cannot give depth to the worries and sleepless nights as one wonders if they can financially do this adoption thing. They cannot carry the laughter and joy that Kris brings to our family. You have to be there to experience those moments.</div>
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You have to be there in the car with Zinta, Kris and me as we head to the embassy. Kris knows that George Washington was the first president but does not know the current president. I casually tell him "Knucklehead." Sure enough, the embassy personnel, impressed that he knows who the first president is, ask him "Who is the current president?" "Knucklehead" he exclaims and Zinta and I and the embassy staff bust out laughing.</div>
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You have to be there at Rosanna's Restaurant a few days before his birthday when Eileen asks him what he would like for his birthday. Kris tells her that he used to reflect on his birthday about his life and what he hoped for and where he was in reaching his dreams. He told her that he does not have to do that anymore ... because he has a family now.</div>
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Thanks you to all who prayed for us, encouraged us, supported us financially and spiritually. This day is your day too. Thanks to God for his never-ending love and support. He carried us when it seemed we couldn't walk one more step. I will leave you with four last words:</div>
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INTRODUCING KRISTOFER TIMOTHY GENTILE</div>
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=867171806648172&set=vb.100000660833833&type=3">Kris at the Lock Bridge, Riga, Latvia</a><br />
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<br />Phil Gentilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13243792048276309428noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3660559002407420799.post-76304397698929901662014-10-06T06:27:00.003-07:002014-10-06T06:31:24.939-07:00Rockets, Gumball Machines and Balance Beams<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
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It has been three months since Kris
landed in America for the first time. I think he is taking the
country by storm! It has been a time of adventure, exploration,
adjustment and, quite frankly, exhaustion.</div>
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Kris has acclimated himself to life
here in America. He makes friends easily and has a crew of friends
at church and at soccer.In fact, he pretty much makes friends everywhere he goes.</div>
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learned. It's his way of learning the language. This can be a good
thing or a bad thing. You can only imagine some of things he's been
repeating! Today's phrase is “Just shake it off!” He's also learning the rules of the road and the various types signs on the American road. He is looking forward to taking his driving permit test.</div>
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One evening at the store he spied a row
of gumball machines. He asked what it was and so I explained how
you put in the money, turn the crank and lift the door to get your
gum or prize. His eyes lit up! “We do not have this in Latvia. I
would like to try this.” So he puts in the quarter, turns the crank
(saying “krukcht” as he turns the crank) and out comes his
glow-in-the-dark spider. “I must try this again! I like this
process!” Three spiders later … we head out the door and head
for home.</div>
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He is thoroughly enjoying playing
soccer with Faith Christian School. He feels like he is a part of
something bigger than himself – a team. He really has bonded with
his teammates and his coach. He's even scored a few goals so far
this year. I think that during the process he is learning to accept
others and be accepted by others, respect himself and others and building
self-confidence.</div>
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Over the past few weeks Kris has taken
to building and launching model rockets. He loves it! We build the
rockets together and then launch them at the high school field
nearby. We have built several of them. One crashed straight into
the ground without the parachute opening – that one was my fault.
Saturday was windy and one rocket went very, very high. The wind
caught it and it landed three blocks away and hanging off a roof. He
scampered up (with a little boost from me) and managed to snag it.
The security guard wasn't too pleased with us at first but he chilled
once he saw what we were doing.</div>
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This exercise reminds me of my youth –
spending hours making model rockets with my Uncle Joe and taking them
to the football field in Central Valley for launching! Several never
made it down and are probably still stuck in the trees there.</div>
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Kris is quite helpful around the house,
too. He is quite proud of the fact that he has kept his room clean
and tidy for three weeks. This only came after some grumbling and
“Are you kidding me?” after being asked to clean his room but
we'll take the minor victories when we can get them. He also likes
to take care of the dogs too. This weekend all three dogs were given
a bath. He also entertains them and walks them. He made a little
video of what happens when we are not home – he is riding his bike
around the kitchen/living area down stairs making a figure “8”
around the kitchen table and the couch while all the dogs are chasing
him! All the while exclaiming “Come on dogs! It is time for the
circus!” He enjoys cleaning too! He even used the leaf blower one
time to clean the downstairs – dog hair and papers were everywhere!
Hysterical!
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For the first two months whenever we
mentioned school, Kris would say that perhaps he can skip going to
school for a few years. It is only during the past few weeks that
his attitude has changed about that. Now he says that he would like
to go to school. I have no doubt that he will do just fine once he
settles in to life in academia. He does seem a little apprehensive
about learning English but we are working on getting him the help he
needs to do well. We have had several conversations about schooling
and I impress upon him that all I expect from him is to do his very
best and we will help him however we can.</div>
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Kris and I have been taking advantage
of the time in the car traveling to and from soccer games and fishing
and flying rockets to get to know each other. We've had our
disagreements during this phase but we respect each other andl we have a pretty good relationship.
We've shared bits and pieces of each others lives. Without getting
into details he's had a terrible start in life but with God's grace
he has managed to become quite the young man!</div>
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Despite some of the challenges to
adjusting to life with a new teen in the house – three loaves of
bread, two and ½ gallons of milk, four boxes of cereal and lots of
ketchup and mayonnaise each week; some attitude issues; financial
challenges; trying to find balance in our lives – Eileen and I
firmly believe that we have won the “kid lottery” with this guy.
Don't get me wrong … this adoption thing is NOT for the faint of
heart. There are many nights we have fallen into bed just whipped
from all the running around. Despite all the little hurdles in the
process we cannot imagine our family without Kris. We have God to
thank for that.
</div>
Phil Gentilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13243792048276309428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3660559002407420799.post-45137558364610860102014-07-22T19:42:00.002-07:002014-07-22T19:42:38.203-07:00Football, Fishing and FirefliesIt has been about two and one-half weeks.<br />
<br />
A mere nineteen days.<br />
<br />
That's how long he's been in America.<br />
<br />
Here's what we have so far:<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5kYeNM4qLlfJ30Z2Zg7W_fk_6RbcqCkCtwgUmzxwEoPzJWIRPy7gK1G08Vg1URS7CZAjiSLTnmSkfuVyiCpTEyFIKgmU1bishJrhXMH0CsEHcL9jBFBUuNDzU9ABGmXc1NGZFjbxQ4ZzT/s1600/10518638_10204174551514642_7916656074648825491_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5kYeNM4qLlfJ30Z2Zg7W_fk_6RbcqCkCtwgUmzxwEoPzJWIRPy7gK1G08Vg1URS7CZAjiSLTnmSkfuVyiCpTEyFIKgmU1bishJrhXMH0CsEHcL9jBFBUuNDzU9ABGmXc1NGZFjbxQ4ZzT/s1600/10518638_10204174551514642_7916656074648825491_n.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a>He knows our address ("244 Beast Onion Boulevard, Bethlehem") and our phone number. He knows how to get to the fishing spot at the Lehigh River from our house. He knows how to get to our church and where Phil works. He has an eye for detail and has snagged himself more lures caught in trees, bushes and water than he has fish.<br />
<br />
He LOVES to go fishing. If he could he would fish 24/7!<br />
<br />
He LOVES football.He is attending soccer camp all this week and is really enjoying himself!<br />
<br />
He loves to eat corn on the cob. ("In Latvia we give this to pigs but I like. It is good.")<br />
<br />
He has never seen a firefly before and set out to catch some. He caught a few and kept opening the top of the container so they could breathe. He later released them outside.<br />
<br />
He LOVES hanging with the gang at church youth group and will be going on his first outing on Saturday (tubing down the Delaware River).<br />
<br />
He really enjoys talking to people. He has no inhibitions about striking up a conversation with kids at church, Phil's co-workers or lifeguards at the town pool.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzrgESCctZ14O8l5VQXQn9vqDJCvAcJSmW9Coh_c7FFQF7RaiboiU7KeP4iJ4vt93x9wrpfyGpM4fHLiGWa3ICXgDpCvG_PZ0oP95BhZMfoqCzUqASXlVZAYv3ijXugMGtYtjmwDf50WE6/s1600/10537299_811406512224702_7090809225981275646_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzrgESCctZ14O8l5VQXQn9vqDJCvAcJSmW9Coh_c7FFQF7RaiboiU7KeP4iJ4vt93x9wrpfyGpM4fHLiGWa3ICXgDpCvG_PZ0oP95BhZMfoqCzUqASXlVZAYv3ijXugMGtYtjmwDf50WE6/s1600/10537299_811406512224702_7090809225981275646_n.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
He loves Peter and jokes with him and talks with him all the time. <br />
<br />
Even the dogs have taken to him!<br />
<br />
Kris does not hesitate to contribute his share to the family life.<br />
<br />
Kris has blended into life in America, life with us, as if it were meant to be from the beginning.<br />
<br />
Despite a very rough beginning in his life, Kris has demonstrated a great deal of courage, grace and compassion.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4HY8nilUFYfj-BJ44WgSxLO8qAJzIzpPC-U5KL8-gWHTzUwl3aV3gA8_K0vn36B-MddAqLfaaERGMLcJ0bgFmj7c4Mvvse2RIpnov_eS-HpzNF86GkP8HzQojRMSEn2VGoKsxU5JIQ9_z/s1600/10553576_10204174536434265_4277685635505497917_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4HY8nilUFYfj-BJ44WgSxLO8qAJzIzpPC-U5KL8-gWHTzUwl3aV3gA8_K0vn36B-MddAqLfaaERGMLcJ0bgFmj7c4Mvvse2RIpnov_eS-HpzNF86GkP8HzQojRMSEn2VGoKsxU5JIQ9_z/s1600/10553576_10204174536434265_4277685635505497917_n.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
Eileen tells him periodically how much we love having him in our family. She even tied the story of Jonah and heeding God's call to our story of heeding God's call to bring him home. He enjoyed that!<br />
<br />
The other day I had the chance to ask him how he felt about being a part of our family. <br />
<br />
"I like this family. It is good family. You are funny and I am funny. I like this family."Phil Gentilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13243792048276309428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3660559002407420799.post-60729733270319089282014-07-09T20:14:00.001-07:002014-07-09T20:15:48.817-07:00They Have NamesWe are surrounded by numbers. Some of those numbers are seen and some are unseen. From our Personal Identification Number for our ATM card to the countless "0" and "1" of the computer programming language that make this blog possible. Think of how many numbers infuse our daily life. Here's a short list of just a few:<br />
<br />
Social Security number<br />
Driver's License number<br />
Phone number<br />
Checking Account number<br />
PIN number<br />
Interest Rates<br />
Prices of goods and services<br />
Money<br />
Channels on your TV<br />
Sizes of clothes<br />
Temperature<br />
Clocks <br />
Speed Limits<br />
Credit Card numbers<br />
Calendars ...<br />
<br />
The list goes on and on.<br />
<br />
Here's another number for you: 143,000,000. That's the estimate number of orphans in the world. I would guess that most people don't even know about that number. Perhaps they would think that such a number was an exaggeration. Up until three years ago I was ignorant of that number. Not a clue!<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZBxSFAFRtuzaJeDLREm9JEudA0cMdFyopuaNhXjs_BviJYcyrm7lYZ-j88Ez3trmq3gbz2xNyULPQKkSMTUOycLXGDs9VdCoHhcSBTBYfEQrhTSYCR4hIY8ISwPYuND6VPwQfrUynCcUU/s1600/IMG_0846.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZBxSFAFRtuzaJeDLREm9JEudA0cMdFyopuaNhXjs_BviJYcyrm7lYZ-j88Ez3trmq3gbz2xNyULPQKkSMTUOycLXGDs9VdCoHhcSBTBYfEQrhTSYCR4hIY8ISwPYuND6VPwQfrUynCcUU/s1600/IMG_0846.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a></div>
But my introduction to those kiddos came through one young woman - Nelya. She opened my eyes and my heart to the world of the 143,000,000. Through her I was introduced to a hosting organization called New Horizons for Children. Every winter and every summer a team of people from New Horizons travels to Eastern Europe and the Far East to visit with some of the 143,000,000. Then that team posts pictures of some of those kiddos with a very brief description of their observations. But there are no names under those photos - only numbers (that is required by rule). Anyone who has hosted an orphan has spent hours looking at those photos and wondering what those kiddos are thinking, what they dream of, what are their hopes and aspirations.<br />
<br />
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Last week, Eileen and I had the privilege of spending a week at a Christian camp in Ergli, Latvia. It was probably the best part of our time in Latvia. We were blessed to spend four glorious days with about 56 of those 143,000,000 and approximately 15 fantastic camp leaders and helpers. We recognized so many of the faces we had seen from the hosting pictures and some we had never before seen.<br />
<br />
They have names.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOsu8cTtftiyTLhgW9PAWZo_hdDk4mdKzTCkPWU9mvp1QxTzE8xIXFsB3-6T-QyLqxDnlZte11SzJpmvu84g8EgC3MUgscjwR-lEB5Q9bSVjrYtVffwNHrzp2icEf9vYhXJcbJWyIczBv0/s1600/IMG_0841.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOsu8cTtftiyTLhgW9PAWZo_hdDk4mdKzTCkPWU9mvp1QxTzE8xIXFsB3-6T-QyLqxDnlZte11SzJpmvu84g8EgC3MUgscjwR-lEB5Q9bSVjrYtVffwNHrzp2icEf9vYhXJcbJWyIczBv0/s1600/IMG_0841.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpDXDjtLgmsWAkDdMbde-tQAtREr45HxtXfOdA-JC_2ZbgOOINtdj2Uq5ckt2X2biC8K44HLoiYGVgx909H-pywQAQYGD0TQ_tzu6LKe9DUd4yh6rq9xIV5VGOGOT1__P0sLRg0rHp2OHm/s1600/IMG_0844.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpDXDjtLgmsWAkDdMbde-tQAtREr45HxtXfOdA-JC_2ZbgOOINtdj2Uq5ckt2X2biC8K44HLoiYGVgx909H-pywQAQYGD0TQ_tzu6LKe9DUd4yh6rq9xIV5VGOGOT1__P0sLRg0rHp2OHm/s1600/IMG_0844.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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They are courageous.<br />
<br />
They are beautiful.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcPBRwBi6rFq2WgS4A-kLo2gNKBT0oGVHV9-OsyyOzBJDqOKHINXqdFtwUwYYZMLqijYP2Dvgvw_hl85xMgBcA7N_AdmNka5vaXUjvH180rUt8bZPn-k5IiH7QlBcj0duTVC3HKXBK7cCF/s1600/IMG_0854.JPG" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcPBRwBi6rFq2WgS4A-kLo2gNKBT0oGVHV9-OsyyOzBJDqOKHINXqdFtwUwYYZMLqijYP2Dvgvw_hl85xMgBcA7N_AdmNka5vaXUjvH180rUt8bZPn-k5IiH7QlBcj0duTVC3HKXBK7cCF/s1600/IMG_0854.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a>They sing.<br />
<br />
They dance. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4uJPfOio7ES6ZNwbIpY2rXqOzBFNXTw2tALEL7OAYsP3KJnjdztqqwfdeco5BgTvOFSE2hY74-Vsxgkf0t31xzIBiSGqm1zVsdUJgsXg_eD2SQZNATaqtq-77pGC18ohJ8k0z91sUrYGD/s1600/IMG_0857.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4uJPfOio7ES6ZNwbIpY2rXqOzBFNXTw2tALEL7OAYsP3KJnjdztqqwfdeco5BgTvOFSE2hY74-Vsxgkf0t31xzIBiSGqm1zVsdUJgsXg_eD2SQZNATaqtq-77pGC18ohJ8k0z91sUrYGD/s1600/IMG_0857.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
They are smart.<br />
<br />
They are tenacious.<br />
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<br />
They laugh.<br />
<br />
They smile.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-MdZkYUgdXUA3P6fHaQzCrVJdUKRldD6kU7eX6OLq8dUDYTzZ7o2uS9VkcBHOSfuYoFFAEuzMVPJNX06GfV2GxDI9J4RRQlNyUyrJ25g8rqpxTQxD0P6TJOrYjpHTiei_C_bv_bi5HaA4/s1600/IMG_0859.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-MdZkYUgdXUA3P6fHaQzCrVJdUKRldD6kU7eX6OLq8dUDYTzZ7o2uS9VkcBHOSfuYoFFAEuzMVPJNX06GfV2GxDI9J4RRQlNyUyrJ25g8rqpxTQxD0P6TJOrYjpHTiei_C_bv_bi5HaA4/s1600/IMG_0859.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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<br />
They have voices.<br />
<br />
They have dreams.<br />
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They are not numbers. <br />
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They are our children and our brothers and sisters - every last one of them.Phil Gentilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13243792048276309428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3660559002407420799.post-60159376441759256822014-06-30T22:35:00.000-07:002014-06-30T22:35:04.523-07:00No Words Necessary<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<u>June 30th</u></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
We
wake up at camp to the sound of rain. We spent last evening tending to
a minor medical issue for K. The details are not important. The only
medical facility in the village where the camp is located is attached to
a seniors' home. The nurse on duty said the doctor was not on duty (it
was Sunday evening) and she suggested we head to the hospital in a town
about 40 km away.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
We
arrived at the hospital and notice the hours of operation on the door
indicate that it is closed on Sunday! What? All the lights were off in
the hallways and there wasn't a soul around. It took us a moment to
realize that we had entered the seniors' wing of the facility and the
medical part of the building was around the corner. After entering the
"emergency room" K was seen by a doctor to took care of the issue and we were on our way back to camp.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
We
were headed up to orphan court for the second hearing. The leader
there asked some very pointed questions of us and of K. The questions
covered the gamut of information but one question seems to stand out.
They asked us and K how was the bonding going? How was the relationship
as parent and child developing? </div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
It
is tough to put into words something that is so visceral. How do you
put into words the moments of connectedness even though nothing is
said? How do you verbalize inflection in the way he says things that
have us laughing? How do you make palpable those times when we work
through a difficult moment through honest communication using broken
English/Latvian? For some things there are no words. For some things
there are only feelings and signs of affection. A big bear hug says so
much more than words can ever say.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
"We
think that this adoption is in Kristofer's best interest. He can go to
America with you." Words never sounded so sweet to our ears.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Only
"labi, labi" managed to squeak out of us. Our throats were choked up
with a flood of emotion and tears were welling up. No words necessary.
The smiles, hugs and tears said it all. </div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
Phil Gentilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13243792048276309428noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3660559002407420799.post-47903570809505407072014-06-30T22:34:00.001-07:002014-06-30T22:34:26.802-07:00Miracles
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<u>June 29th</u></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
It’s our last night in our Latvian
apartment that we have called home since June 11<sup>th</sup>. We are
all sitting doing various "techy" things. Phil is playing Stickman
soccer, Eileen is writing and Kris is playing tanki - an online blow em up game
with tanks. After an amazing day at a ropes and climbing course we
are all pooped. Kris climbed like a monkey on the most challenging
courses. Phil did great (provided he didn't look down) and Eileen almost puked at the end. Kris was completely in his element!</div>
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We have had two
visits from the social workers to see how the bonding process is
progressing . How do you explain this child fits in our family like
he was born into it. Often Eileen thinks about how we love our babies
before they are born. For nine months in the womb we love and dream
about meeting them. Even before conception how many conversations
about are children yet to be born were had? Our friend Dorah calls
them “heart children”. This is the best way we can think of to
describe the relationship that is happening with this kiddo. Our
hearts are bonding with ease. K is a chatterbox and he often wears his heart
on his sleeve. </div>
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We watched as
he Skyped with his sister, from whom he was separated two years ago.
The look on both their faces as she struggled speaking her native
language and he chattered away was priceless. She couldn’t stop
smiling and he was thrilled. The love was palpable even across an ocean and through a computer screen. They were both a little choked up at the end. </div>
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This story of our family has so many
angels. People who began to pray for K years ago as he was taken from
the one sibling he had. People mentored him here in Latvia, teaching
him about Jesus and loving him as only fellow humans can do. That
whole Jesus with skin on thing. Showing him that love is real, that
he is special, that he matters . His change has been noted by the
Orphan Court, by the Director of his Orphanage. They all said “he
went to that camp and something happened.” He came back from that camp a changed person. They noticed God working
in his life. Powerful stuff.</div>
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K gets it. He exhibits a level of love
that can only be explained by the hand of God working through people. We are amazed at the rawness
and honesty of his communication with his friends and mentors.We stand in awe and humility of a God who has allowed
us to raise this child and bring him into our family as our own.</div>
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This last week in Latvia we get to do
something we are not sure has been done by an adopting family. We have
been given permission by the court to continue the bonding process at
the camp. Jaycee has graciously invited us to stay there. In addition
we get to meet 52 new orphans, some we know but most we will meet for
the first time.</div>
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Is it coincidence that this year they
have some special needs campers? We think not, as it happens to be Eileen's
profession. Is it coincidence that we get to be blessed by these
children? We know without a doubt that this is the
beginning of something very special with our new family and Latvian
orphans. God allows us to experience miracles. We don’t even have
to believe that they are miracles but after a while it is impossible
to deny. Our God is a God of the impossible.</div>
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Phil Gentilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13243792048276309428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3660559002407420799.post-63629523277490150132014-06-25T13:37:00.001-07:002014-06-25T13:37:45.724-07:00It's a Big Deal ... It's Not a Big DealThis "building a family" business can be a tricky affair.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeQEV0aDx2f8Z8MZ1vGatnDpyqEC4JkeUpC0KRKkwo53QH1raOjuwkAINt9WboxW8NPzN3LJ1bb4hAcPstfKAzJz2LP97CveRKmVu6ZM08KvybKKKw05ganKe__CyHdSOMcvLpvfMbCpt0/s1600/10494806_796301807068506_3684168612748177911_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeQEV0aDx2f8Z8MZ1vGatnDpyqEC4JkeUpC0KRKkwo53QH1raOjuwkAINt9WboxW8NPzN3LJ1bb4hAcPstfKAzJz2LP97CveRKmVu6ZM08KvybKKKw05ganKe__CyHdSOMcvLpvfMbCpt0/s1600/10494806_796301807068506_3684168612748177911_n.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
Most of the time it is quite a joyous and uproarious escapade. Case in point: A few nights ago K had his two younger "brothers" spending the night. We watched some World Cup action over pizza and soda. Good times. Because they were a little hyped on sugar we walked around old Riga to burn up some of that energy. As we are walking around, K and his crew are practicing their "parkour" moves (you'll have to look it up on the web) and a very large, inebriated Latvian guy decides he would like to try it. K explains what he must do and the guy proceeds to run into the side of a building at full gallop rather than jump and scale the side of the building! What a sight!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWfxLMgtkbBl-eT9Nh3mQGZt1WPIcgApIh7KNAQ0EYWh1X4L4t3cCLEe_pWtzb4j_nLTJUWU3iRCH6ZOs2hcx4BGzEctLeWywfKfTWhZ87wjIkar8280QIqW5wAlr7krTgomzjMFpqxy51/s1600/10505509_10204005746574624_8558481851172554418_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWfxLMgtkbBl-eT9Nh3mQGZt1WPIcgApIh7KNAQ0EYWh1X4L4t3cCLEe_pWtzb4j_nLTJUWU3iRCH6ZOs2hcx4BGzEctLeWywfKfTWhZ87wjIkar8280QIqW5wAlr7krTgomzjMFpqxy51/s1600/10505509_10204005746574624_8558481851172554418_n.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
Later on that evening, as we are making our way back to the apartment, I spy a young woman standing in the street from about three quarters of a block away. Odd, but all she is doing is watching people pass by her and occasionally talking with a few men who pass by her. Maybe she's had one too many. About halfway down the block I can get a faint whiff of her perfume - a scent that only gets more pronounced the closer we get to her. I get what's going on here! As we pass her one of the youngsters overhears her talking to a potential patron; after we have a reasonable distance between us and her, he turns to me and says "Hey Phil! That lady is a prostitute!" Oh boy!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEFB-3HtSthukcDe80ZGyfMfL2x3rbzMkOsoiKXlGrZnnEe-5QLUIf9KT9m6PSUHLE2hcTJU7OARIyQH2M3VODv2epcv71PVjx2BoGjIMhAi2jcUhR8rHV7LERN_d9mrc_S_OXRAAd6jmS/s1600/10440697_796301507068536_8157652469210771988_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEFB-3HtSthukcDe80ZGyfMfL2x3rbzMkOsoiKXlGrZnnEe-5QLUIf9KT9m6PSUHLE2hcTJU7OARIyQH2M3VODv2epcv71PVjx2BoGjIMhAi2jcUhR8rHV7LERN_d9mrc_S_OXRAAd6jmS/s1600/10440697_796301507068536_8157652469210771988_n.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a>Today, Daniela came to visit with baby Harry in tow. We started off with paying lots of attention to Harry and even got K to hold him. Harry would not take his eyes off of K for most of the visit. K and Daniela started horsing around like they were siblings - K trying to video Daniela and trying to take her picture and Daniela resisting those attempts. Daniela does not like having her picture taken and at some point there was a good-natured tussle between them. This ended up with Daniela flipping K to the floor and sitting on him until her promised "no more pictures". The visit ended with some facetime with Peter. Peter was so happy to see Daniela and K. As we said our good byes to Daniela, K gave her a hug and she gave each of us a really long, firm hug back!! This is the big deal part of family building. Patience, unfailing love and consistency pay off in the end. We know this; we have the proof in the hugs from the teen who would not give us hugs last summer! She knows she is loved ... really loved.<br />
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Several people have expressed to us that K doesn't like to follow the rules all the time. Sometimes he will test the boundaries. Generally, our experience so far has been that he abides by the rules. But today he also tested exactly where that boundary was. The details are not important except that it involved cleaning up a small mess he made. He was asked to clean it up several times and consequences were clearly delineated. The end result was we went back home early (as promised). He was not happy. This is not a big deal. He'll work through it and we'll talk about it tomorrow (he went straight to bed - his choice) and we will go over the need for respect among family and that we love him and forgive him. We'll learn from this and move on.<br />
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We look forward to spending the next few days here in Riga with some friends and his "brothers" sleeping over for two days. Then we head to camp with K. More adventures and good times ahead - sans the ladies of the evening. <br />
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Family ... it's a big deal, a very big deal!Phil Gentilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13243792048276309428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3660559002407420799.post-80837020033190789342014-06-21T13:55:00.004-07:002014-06-21T13:55:26.081-07:00Fashion and Jail - Latvian Style
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Our adventures in Latvia continue and I
feel the need to educate. Fashion is a serious business in Riga. If
you want to fit in there are a few import tips I have learned from my
keen observation combined with the teen experience of so many others
who have lived the life of skinny jeans.. to wear or not to wear.
Since I can only pull them up to my knees it has never become a
issue. I simply can’t even get into them.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The only women wearing Capri's beside
myself are other middle aged American tourists. I thought I was ahead
of the game by not wearing my running shoes, but alas, however cool
my converse are I have apparently not worn the correct pants. I would
like to note that I am wearing pants, which is more than I can say
for the girls dancing in AmPir (a bar which when passing I cover the
boys' eyes) . Yes, that is both K and Phil. They both have informed me
they have seen butts before and are not impressed.</div>
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="_GoBack"></a>Along with your
swimsuit be sure to pack some mittens, boots and a raincoat. It has
not stopped raining or risen above 60 degrees since we arrived. Folks
assure me that this is unusual, but I think they are lying. Everyone
is wearing boots … I cannot believe they actually packed away
winter clothes and then the entire city of Riga dug in to find the
warmest clothing in June. I am convinced they keep the woolen socks
in the swim suit drawer. Also they sell many Latvian woolen items at
the markets… no mistake.</div>
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Riga is the cultural capital …. it
says so on the billboard at the airport. This is what I have learned
so far:</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Russians, I have discovered, are
pointed out by K for their standard uniform of ill fitting shiny
pants, short hair and bad manners. Being a native of New Jersey,
the striking sub culture of the “Guido” seems to be a close
cousin of the young Russian in Latvia. If you are not from NJ but
have ever watched “the Sopranos” this is truly a phenomenon to
be witnessed in it’s native environment. I think Discovery Channel
may soon create a documentary of this amazing coincidence of culture.
The babushkas or old women also have bad manners. We have been
informed that bad manners is how you tell a Russian from a Latvian. I
do believe I was winked at today by a Russian man on the street and
being of a certain age I was flattered. And the bad manner rule went
out the window. In general folks do not say things like ”excuse me’
or apologize when bumping folks in public everyone just moves on.
There are hardly any persons of color here so K also points out in
very clear English look a “brown boy” to all three black men we
have seen. We will have to work on the cultural diversity issue when
we get home.</div>
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We have explained that we do not want
to go to Latvian jail for losing Latvian child. This has become a
long standing joke. At least every 15 minutes yesterday, K said “ I
do this….?” Oh yes, I forgot.. you do not want to go to Latvian
Jail” Then ha- ha -ha and does it anyway. This boy is so full of
life and energy. He does not stop moving, twirling, spinning on
street signs, jumping over park benches, sliding down stairs, hiding
and jumping out from behind trees, poles and elevators. “Phil, we
go to training now?” They have found a gym and have been going for
hours each day. I say last night at midnight “perhaps it’s time
for bed for everyone” he says in a perfect mimic of my voice ”I
don't think so.” The guys stay up watching X men wolverine till 2
a.m. I have explained this will NOT be a regular occurrence in
America. He says “OK honey” and “relax baby relax” and
giggles.</div>
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The bond forming between Phil and K is
amazing to watch. K is physical and loves to be hugged and wrestled
and will snuggle up to him on the couch. He is not afraid of letting
his heart show. This kid has an amazing spirit. I can’t wait for
him and Peter to get to know each other. The fact that both guys are
so movement oriented is cool. I can’t wait to see the next part of
this adventure play out back in the US.</div>
Phil Gentilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13243792048276309428noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3660559002407420799.post-42566760179191047362014-06-18T14:24:00.000-07:002014-06-18T14:24:00.451-07:00"This Is My Family"Well, it has been a week since we have touched down here in Riga. We have grown accustomed to the late nights and the sunsets at 11:30 PM. We've even grown accustomed to the rain and cool summer temperatures (well, maybe not).<br />
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We have learned the public transportation system like we are seasoned Riga-vites. Of course it took us watching how the natives operate the transit cards to look like pros. It also took us taking one trip on the correct bus but in the wrong direction to the end of the line and the bus driver politely telling us to get out of the bus to accomplish looking like we had swagger.<br />
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We've also picked up more and more words and phrases in Latvian. We still butcher the language but we try. At the very least we get many people laughing with our pronunciations.<br />
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We've been here a whole seven days. Genesis tells us that God created everything in seven days. Doesn't seem like a lot of time in the grand scheme of things. Yet so much can happen in days, hours, minutes.<br />
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We first met Kris on Saturday afternoon. We met him where he was, figuratively and literally. We broke bread at Jaycee's house and met her family. We met him on his "turf" and it worked out beautifully. It was a great transition. We've only know Kris for FIVE days!<br />
<br />
Over the course of these five days we have grown closer. We've gotten to know each other. We've eaten together, walked together, shopped together. We've laughed ... a lot ... together. We've looked in bewilderment at each other when trying to decipher what the other is saying. We've also had a few heart-to-hearts during this time - nothing major but important conversations.<br />
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Here's what we've got so far: He is fearless. He is clever. He is friendly. He has a heart for family and is loyal to a fault (if you can consider that a fault). He is high energy. He has a very sharp sense of humor. He pays attention to things going on around him.<br />
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Here's what else we've gotten in the past five days: a family. We have a hodge-podge, stitched up, patchwork, duct-taped, quilt of a family. Our ages range from 52 down to 3 months. Some of us don't understand the language the others speak. Some don't speak the language the others understand. Some of us don't use words at all. We live thousands of miles apart and come from many different backgrounds. But we all share one thing - LOVE!<br />
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He was asked by his social worker if he wanted to go back to the orphanage instead of coming to America with us. "She ask stupid questions," he said. "I tell her 'No. This is my family.'"<br />
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We couldn't agree more.<br />
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<br />Phil Gentilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13243792048276309428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3660559002407420799.post-80925872963422706332014-06-14T01:26:00.004-07:002014-06-14T01:26:42.337-07:00The Big Day!Dateline: Riga<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-dYhNleF3gE_6klDJvX-qk7CUaxQNCSWMAHUCPCLLNHWbhUc5iY_MSnilWgDJ2alQYHA8Q8CvItmcilsxiOuz-z3XpKw0quIDEKPW_TprPcMUsxUDcU_ogsqDS_uB9NeLefnkh2gNpVhb/s1600/IMG_0681.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-dYhNleF3gE_6klDJvX-qk7CUaxQNCSWMAHUCPCLLNHWbhUc5iY_MSnilWgDJ2alQYHA8Q8CvItmcilsxiOuz-z3XpKw0quIDEKPW_TprPcMUsxUDcU_ogsqDS_uB9NeLefnkh2gNpVhb/s1600/IMG_0681.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a>We arrived here in Riga on the 11th of June after a long journey from the US. Three days have passed and we could tell you all about the magnificent history of this city, the majestic architecture and the warmth and openness of its people. We could tell you about the delicious food and the marvelous coffee here. We could tell you about how we seriously underestimated how cool it is here even in the summer (yes, we will have to buy some sweatshirts that say "I Love Latvia") or how the sun rises at about 4:30 a.m. and sets at about 11:30 p.m. (makes for some difficulty in adjusting your sleep patterns). But this is not a vacation journal. This is a life journal.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpA0OcSq1YynzkPtQTVHZli-NNI6o-Ahb5pQ086poygz69UWO0otCGiOatz67lqaDFKr0gPOTK8NjsoE1OMCVi9n-XxQJErX2LcU4v_CbIYerfU45yV6QlgnNsAOvQyCAJpDagCt32mYZO/s1600/10435789_10203911073287851_1768692190490525509_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpA0OcSq1YynzkPtQTVHZli-NNI6o-Ahb5pQ086poygz69UWO0otCGiOatz67lqaDFKr0gPOTK8NjsoE1OMCVi9n-XxQJErX2LcU4v_CbIYerfU45yV6QlgnNsAOvQyCAJpDagCt32mYZO/s1600/10435789_10203911073287851_1768692190490525509_n.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a>We had the blessing to finally meet some "old" friends from the hosting program. We had been messaging, calling and posting with each other for over a year and finally met for dinner here in Riga. What a joy and a blessing it was! These wonderful friends have been praying for us and encouraging us and following our story, Kristofers' story, for quite some time and it was wonderful to finally spend some time getting to know them up close. A big hug and heartfelt "thank you" to all those who have prayed, donated, encouraged and followed us to Riga. We could not have done it without you!<br />
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We also had the most wonderful opportunity to meet up with our girl, Daniela and some of her friends! This is the girl who last summer had some challenges with us (read our other blog about that adventure); but God broke through those defenses through love, steadfast and strong, and now Daniela could not contain her excitement at seeing us here in Riga. God knows how much we love this young woman. She is our lovely daughter and we love, love, love her to pieces! We also saw our grandson, Harry, for the first time. Goodness he is a big boy (only three months old) and a very happy baby. We will see the two of them throughout our stay in Riga.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-gHYXHbXV711pr-a9ScoTOmcNavtH9mJ1fAbEn-2GOkUuIDVomySBgZ0xvRUwt4vuKNNNsCXz8GBDKlMpaR4XTfxZFasb38toP5d7jEaH9SynOJ0ZcMofWq3Tgi10GLna-38SLZfQliKS/s1600/10447624_788621954503158_7420902122307827849_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-gHYXHbXV711pr-a9ScoTOmcNavtH9mJ1fAbEn-2GOkUuIDVomySBgZ0xvRUwt4vuKNNNsCXz8GBDKlMpaR4XTfxZFasb38toP5d7jEaH9SynOJ0ZcMofWq3Tgi10GLna-38SLZfQliKS/s1600/10447624_788621954503158_7420902122307827849_n.jpg" height="150" width="200" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpY49kTIhGIIvn1lnzo16rHHu24NfrRgIyLWp0Sm45q93wRouaT90_wJadOzBcU5vrBRyd34wBb5JcFyrGBe5hyphenhyphen9oyOrO_7ru1Z-LC4MCDCViTHtC1e9IU8Ir-NpA41dmV8AJsmjYIEpYG/s1600/10443491_10203911029246750_8362005205732338454_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpY49kTIhGIIvn1lnzo16rHHu24NfrRgIyLWp0Sm45q93wRouaT90_wJadOzBcU5vrBRyd34wBb5JcFyrGBe5hyphenhyphen9oyOrO_7ru1Z-LC4MCDCViTHtC1e9IU8Ir-NpA41dmV8AJsmjYIEpYG/s1600/10443491_10203911029246750_8362005205732338454_n.jpg" height="200" width="150" /></a>We also had the good fortune to meet another lovely young woman by the name of Sabine. She is friends with Daniela. What a joy it was to continue our journey of love and acceptance and encouragement with Sabine. We talked with her throughout dinner and into the next day. Her message to me the next day was: <span class="null">It was a very nice to meeting you guys! still I am smiling from yesterday! All it took was some conversation, mixed in with some love and a little bit of time.</span><br />
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New friendships are formed so long as you are open to the movement of Spirit and we have made a connection with Sabine. Turns out that she plays soccer with a team and we plan on watching one of her games. Way more important and awesome than the World Cup!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj54UEkLhPWH0YfC_XwHxb0AY52FvYJHBWPGIsV2E8NOAr_30fHUZL0gYQgkEEAHx3up1Y5wsc42h2xtYA9TDfbz7IfUZ56KnGWa9Kzk-97cyAauXyALhiKSVfid36y7KboWAqxQyxJBZFy/s1600/10473769_10203911086768188_7348075360846215686_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj54UEkLhPWH0YfC_XwHxb0AY52FvYJHBWPGIsV2E8NOAr_30fHUZL0gYQgkEEAHx3up1Y5wsc42h2xtYA9TDfbz7IfUZ56KnGWa9Kzk-97cyAauXyALhiKSVfid36y7KboWAqxQyxJBZFy/s1600/10473769_10203911086768188_7348075360846215686_n.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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Despite a night filled with imagined doom - what if Kris doesn't like us, what if Kris doesn't want to come to America, what if, what if, what if .... - we eagerly await the moment when we finally get to meet our son, to hug him, to love on him and, probably embarrass him with overflowing emotions. That moment will happen today sometime. <br />
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One chapter closes and a new one begins.Phil Gentilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13243792048276309428noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3660559002407420799.post-55715520144961226902014-05-26T12:58:00.000-07:002014-05-26T12:58:09.582-07:00The WaitingDossier has been assembled and shipped to Latvia. . .<br />
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And we wait.<br />
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Three plus weeks later and our dossier has been translated and submitted to the powers that be in Latvia. . .<br />
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And we wait.<br />
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Silence.<br />
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We email our agency every week. "Any word?" "Not yet" is the response. "We'll let you know as soon as we hear from Latvia."<br />
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That doesn't stop us from checking our email at least four times a day.<br />
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And we wait.<br />
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We hear through the grapevine that the court has asked him if he wants to live in America and responded with a "Yes".<br />
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More silence and more waiting and more checking of emails.<br />
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"Are they aware of the deadlines that are approaching?" we ask. "Yes; everyone is aware of the situation." they say.<br />
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And still we wait.<br />
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"Any day now the referral should be here. The Ministry is waiting on word from the court before they can send the referral."<br />
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Tick ... tick ... tick.<br />
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With each new email notification our hearts skip a beat. Maybe this is the one. Maybe it's finally here! But no ... false alarm.<br />
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It has been a mere 75 days or so since we sent our dossier and it feels like an eternity. I cannot imagine waiting years to be asked the question: "Do you want to live in America? Do you want to be part of a family? Do you want to be accepted? Do you want to be chosen?"<br />
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Our boy was losing hope that this would ever happen. We sent a message of encouragement to a friend in Latvia to tell him to hang on ... family is on the way.<br />
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If K can wait for years and still believe, can still have hope, can remain steadfast in God's love and faithfulness, well, then, so can we.Phil Gentilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13243792048276309428noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3660559002407420799.post-32726643141574409872014-03-23T12:18:00.004-07:002014-03-23T12:19:00.309-07:00The Road is Paved With PaperOver the past two months it feels like we have been trudging through muck and mire. The past two months have been an exercise in the "business" of adoption. Honestly there have been times when it seemed more like a chore, plowing through reams of paper, phone calls with bureaucrats in Trenton and Harrisburg, emails back and forth with our adoption agency, frustrations with delays in delivery of documents .... To say that the "business" of adoption is dull and tedious would be an understatement. The phrase "dull as dishwater" and the image of Sisyphus comes to mind when discussing this phase of the process, especially when compared with the excitement of obtaining USCIS approval (see our previous posts).<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg3t25yvRlzjSJyEdLfJ-eaZCOZKFr1IaBtKCUxY3A6ta5kxQg_q1V420e1Mivy-6MPMNmOaTev7OKymYFhAmw8mxsF7pOpJRTddOz2MgxQBv14AOoLgp1r6lJe2DTu4iDVI6bGC8lmWYg/s1600/999__400x300_sisyphus.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg3t25yvRlzjSJyEdLfJ-eaZCOZKFr1IaBtKCUxY3A6ta5kxQg_q1V420e1Mivy-6MPMNmOaTev7OKymYFhAmw8mxsF7pOpJRTddOz2MgxQBv14AOoLgp1r6lJe2DTu4iDVI6bGC8lmWYg/s1600/999__400x300_sisyphus.png" /></a></div>
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I thought that there really wouldn't be much worth writing about when we completed our dossier package of documents and shipped them off to Latvia. But I was wrong.<br />
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There's nothing "sexy" about three piles of documents with fancy seals on them. There isn't any "bling" associated with paper with some ink on it being stapled together, wrapped with rubber bands and handed off to DHL to deliver across the ocean to our attorney in Latvia. Really rather drab and listless. In and of itself, the paper has no value. So what's the big deal?<br />
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Kristofers. <br />
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He's got value. Family has value. Love has value. When you are nothing more than a glorified clerk, gathering documents, driving all over the place to gather the missing pieces, frantically racing against deadlines, losing patience with the system and its minions it is difficult to remember that there is a person at the end of this road. There it is.<br />
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At the end of the road is Kristofers and our family. The road to Kristofers, family, love, God is sometimes paved with paper and gold seals, wrapped in rubber bands. Not macadam, not concrete, not yellow bricks Dorothy ... paper. Paper mixed with patience, a little bit of anxiety and lots of love.<br />
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The road to Kristofers is paved with bricks of 8 1/2" x 11" paper.<br />
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We continue to plod our way through the next phases of this journey - adoption grant applications, visitor visa applications, airline tickets, Latvian court documents - the endless pile of paper grows. But not all of the paper is bland and tasteless. Kristofers loves to fish. Phil took it on himself to complete a paper application for a fish and game club in the Lehigh Valley and was given a temporary paper access card that will give him and Kristofers access to the fully stocked lake when he arrives.<br />
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Not all paper is valueless.Phil Gentilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13243792048276309428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3660559002407420799.post-28170691195193403702014-01-19T12:03:00.001-08:002014-01-19T12:03:42.227-08:00Koncert for FamilyThe Koncert with a heart.<br />
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The Koncert for a Kause.<br />
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A little over a week ago, a small but konnected kommunity got together for an evening of fellowship.<br />
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Friends we've known a long time and friendships forged that evening took part in helping our family grow.<br />
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The koncert was just the kulmination of many months of loving care, being still and listening to God's whisper of direction and following God's lead. From Eileen's inspirational design for t-shirts, Phil's kraftiness (learned through Pinterest) of making kommerative mugs to baking several dozen kookies to making many pots of koffee ... it all came together for a night of musik, laughter and love.<br />
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A night for K. A night for family.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjPvdZ2Un7QnVWnNelK2jvMpgS9lrqmXRHHW6kaE-pHlr0C8JhW-koggnL_GVgwKr_B1wpf2jvd7kDZQB3mxPhlfI-GWne4I0lcBXGHuiah7E_NBib0Y4und9mGhX9414lFIUHa-lfkKTm/s1600/1517682_10202862855043110_1150880216_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjPvdZ2Un7QnVWnNelK2jvMpgS9lrqmXRHHW6kaE-pHlr0C8JhW-koggnL_GVgwKr_B1wpf2jvd7kDZQB3mxPhlfI-GWne4I0lcBXGHuiah7E_NBib0Y4und9mGhX9414lFIUHa-lfkKTm/s1600/1517682_10202862855043110_1150880216_n.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
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We were especially blessed to have our Hopesprings Community of Faith show their love and support by serving the koffee and tea. Pam's artistic talents designed the flyer for the event and helped get the space ready for the koncert. Karl got the sound system just right. Jonathan even came out, with the flu ravaging him, to show his support. The countless folks that spread the word, prayed and loved on us and K by being there that night (especially Brian and his crew).<br />
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Of course, the musikal talent that night was beyond magnificent. Liz, Eric and Rick were fabulous! John Schmitt and his compadre Ryan were off the charts. I encourage you to support all the performers but especially <a href="http://www.johnschmittmusic.com/">John</a>. If you get the chance to see them live make it a point to do so.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm95wFgYns9omaL1P6S8t4F5SgcX95mxTpKf-otlxPDyjrVfJkj8gV1Tk-OTR7NrPi3HuGtH57_5bG_c1KzeLPVe4KUOhxR0WcGuv3LVsIo_C9akdTmyVZDfskUAkxSXryckyP2i2d5e4U/s1600/1524977_10202862857443170_1752365809_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm95wFgYns9omaL1P6S8t4F5SgcX95mxTpKf-otlxPDyjrVfJkj8gV1Tk-OTR7NrPi3HuGtH57_5bG_c1KzeLPVe4KUOhxR0WcGuv3LVsIo_C9akdTmyVZDfskUAkxSXryckyP2i2d5e4U/s1600/1524977_10202862857443170_1752365809_n.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJYSKqHg99rCeU3nLO6r_m0mS9ajuD0vznxQXjl4TG3omuNOgGlHH2EBAeSOXtq_SJWSIV8aW0bzQZC80LGdFt4I_q216LaRBZCjODgJ3deZAAI_tvYdwd8morKlGIcp-Nc32B7yAL-Eem/s1600/1551600_10202862856443145_109910276_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJYSKqHg99rCeU3nLO6r_m0mS9ajuD0vznxQXjl4TG3omuNOgGlHH2EBAeSOXtq_SJWSIV8aW0bzQZC80LGdFt4I_q216LaRBZCjODgJ3deZAAI_tvYdwd8morKlGIcp-Nc32B7yAL-Eem/s1600/1551600_10202862856443145_109910276_n.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a>We continue to make progress toward making this dream of family a reality. Our home study is now complete and we will be submitting it to US Immigration officials this week. Although at times it seems to be moving at glacial speed, God is working. We are encouraged by all the good people, both local and across the globe, who are keeping us in prayer. We will not falter for we know from whence our strength and courage come!<br />
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This post would not be complete without mentioning one person who made this evening and this journey beyond description. The most important person who showed up that evening, and who continues to show up for us, is God. He makes this all possible.<br />
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If you would like to know a bit more about our guy you can get a glimpse of his story <a href="http://newhopelatvia.com/2/post/2014/01/in-his-timing.html?fb_action_ids=709159509116070&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=aggregation&fb_aggregation_id=288381481237582">here.</a><br />
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<br />Phil Gentilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13243792048276309428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3660559002407420799.post-44273240707430917262014-01-01T15:44:00.002-08:002014-01-03T20:30:43.242-08:00Es Tevi Mīlu. Я люблю тебя.It has been quite a ride in 2013.<br />
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But this journey actually began in 2011. It was in that year that we were introduced to New Horizons. Our friend Jana was hosting a young teenage girl from Ukraine - Nelya, We connected with this young woman on a heart and soul level. This serendipitous collision of lives and stories fanned an ember aglow in us that we did not even realize existed. This was our purpose - our mission - our destiny.<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaRd11sIGB3pb6MYD7dO1fcqBidAfbveeV84Csw8_avbp3U2Zop9mNXNWcYfgjRM6haMJ4LW5XV76gs0ddviUmz5kr0ylA5gs-BseOr7JidttWizsgFr1t6Q5WeNc0dpfIuZmBRliKrAX3/s1600/HPIM2659.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaRd11sIGB3pb6MYD7dO1fcqBidAfbveeV84Csw8_avbp3U2Zop9mNXNWcYfgjRM6haMJ4LW5XV76gs0ddviUmz5kr0ylA5gs-BseOr7JidttWizsgFr1t6Q5WeNc0dpfIuZmBRliKrAX3/s1600/HPIM2659.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nelya and Jana</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJo46lozjWNIZK1VUTAuMHufWhXqf0f6GQXGJNC1K2rQ7zOKL6196bmxRKRBhb42hIC02jPGOX2Nx4Yz0YI2TfpuYh3whFgaxC_byKAO1LugfqajcJft2Flvz0RP5Ovm9W-CN0o5vwF2kA/s1600/HPIM3142.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJo46lozjWNIZK1VUTAuMHufWhXqf0f6GQXGJNC1K2rQ7zOKL6196bmxRKRBhb42hIC02jPGOX2Nx4Yz0YI2TfpuYh3whFgaxC_byKAO1LugfqajcJft2Flvz0RP5Ovm9W-CN0o5vwF2kA/s1600/HPIM3142.JPG" height="163" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me and Nelya</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioe64P9pznGOvD1_9onXxyF7YcjOejyiYkGaGMLNRNRkE4EmhktT6Zw06gchcxBffSDsvNcQJreWNZRUk9x7hFX7oNOR__6NVQlFmjmYBcJhJak1bb8zcf9y2S1KHJpVyX5NzCPXAaXWgw/s1600/IMG_0559.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioe64P9pznGOvD1_9onXxyF7YcjOejyiYkGaGMLNRNRkE4EmhktT6Zw06gchcxBffSDsvNcQJreWNZRUk9x7hFX7oNOR__6NVQlFmjmYBcJhJak1bb8zcf9y2S1KHJpVyX5NzCPXAaXWgw/s1600/IMG_0559.JPG" height="200" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nelya 2011</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIOIMEB2O6-QsxLDkhJYzRUxBsojaDtF9N-2Cpdfj8dvmrSRikd4a1r6YqTFbqLvwjmHkxy0G2N1XQrS_2_I88gAuGm28CY2Rc28OEV7BM8jjUTctihzExLMHYb6rdO5Zi7g8lH_NBSZVx/s1600/Nelya+2012.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIOIMEB2O6-QsxLDkhJYzRUxBsojaDtF9N-2Cpdfj8dvmrSRikd4a1r6YqTFbqLvwjmHkxy0G2N1XQrS_2_I88gAuGm28CY2Rc28OEV7BM8jjUTctihzExLMHYb6rdO5Zi7g8lH_NBSZVx/s1600/Nelya+2012.jpg" height="254" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2012</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
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We tried to keep in touch with Nelya but the communication was intermittent at best. We finally tracked her down on Ukrainian social media and sent her messages once again. She responded. On New Year's Day, Nelya and I had quite the chat as we both were on-line at the same time. I must tell you that it takes a great deal of skill to navigate the "copy and paste" routine between Google translate and the message board and back again! What a joy to speak with her today and learn that she is happy, she is reunited with her brother and sister and she is attending school. She says that she misses us and wants to come back for a visit. She eagerly types that she loves us and we just eagerly type back that we love her also.<br />
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And that was just the beginning of the journey!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjscRsut4zsS3L514sGmjIwWohZzGQ_6T7hZ7ArUX0kzR1qKfj9-7Yra44yMYSzMEdGNJ34JrzElzaEkpN9JcXk5nieNahU3Kr0OshlEPbmYNwzE3mwWS5AwwuKpgV2AzNhh8zEZpqoTSPT/s1600/Daniela+and+Peter+Smiling.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjscRsut4zsS3L514sGmjIwWohZzGQ_6T7hZ7ArUX0kzR1qKfj9-7Yra44yMYSzMEdGNJ34JrzElzaEkpN9JcXk5nieNahU3Kr0OshlEPbmYNwzE3mwWS5AwwuKpgV2AzNhh8zEZpqoTSPT/s1600/Daniela+and+Peter+Smiling.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Peter and Daniela</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLjwQCj7ryhVnwy3III5Z3tES2y-0vNaU6T7rYAKKqN2R3uyf5XN6Tcw7DS9Nvstnb6oMt-hxNowkvVAEYiEX1y5XAYQAdBNXVv2886usJeDAHgqTkimMtGTFrFkrwSnPGYez5scGZrhyu/s1600/IMG_0468.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLjwQCj7ryhVnwy3III5Z3tES2y-0vNaU6T7rYAKKqN2R3uyf5XN6Tcw7DS9Nvstnb6oMt-hxNowkvVAEYiEX1y5XAYQAdBNXVv2886usJeDAHgqTkimMtGTFrFkrwSnPGYez5scGZrhyu/s1600/IMG_0468.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Last night - pillow fight</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
This year was the next leg of the odyssey. We dove into the deep end of the pool and decided to host a teenage girl from Latvia. As many of you know, the experience was far from smooth. There were plenty of bumps along the way in hosting Daniela. But the bumps were necessary for her and for us - we all needed to navigate the on-ramp that was riddled with pot holes before we could get up to cruising speed on the highway. The truth is, we learned a lot about ourselves and our faith. Not the esoteric faith awash in sunlight through stained-glass windows; the rough and tumble, where the rubber meets the road kind of faith. This was a testing of the basic tenet of Jesus's teaching - unconditional love - in a real and tangible way. This was applying the "love others" idea in a real, messy, complicated situation.<br />
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<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilHFcfZDpYtx36M_cKK72_tfQJAa32lc5vp-vxW8l8zdDDj7J6gYOjxPzICYjS7mEETPU96Sc-frcbqQh6t9XV7bMi-lHv40e3PC9Pn48AZFZeglPJASubKSGVVvf6C3hEEAdCPUXqKUX8/s1600/IMG_0322.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilHFcfZDpYtx36M_cKK72_tfQJAa32lc5vp-vxW8l8zdDDj7J6gYOjxPzICYjS7mEETPU96Sc-frcbqQh6t9XV7bMi-lHv40e3PC9Pn48AZFZeglPJASubKSGVVvf6C3hEEAdCPUXqKUX8/s1600/IMG_0322.JPG" height="200" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cooking with Eileen</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaR_n8vGrsBHzviiSfggPI7ok8ZqDTWYcP8EOnFJTGrbufnOMYhfeU48tvMjJE84Z1TvQyPbn661-F4ephiiaSmgBT4qMW-G9M5lwlGWv3_NK1xCY53zF_jkV_d5Yk70ZKQn0uQ19VMPzd/s1600/IMG_0301.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaR_n8vGrsBHzviiSfggPI7ok8ZqDTWYcP8EOnFJTGrbufnOMYhfeU48tvMjJE84Z1TvQyPbn661-F4ephiiaSmgBT4qMW-G9M5lwlGWv3_NK1xCY53zF_jkV_d5Yk70ZKQn0uQ19VMPzd/s1600/IMG_0301.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Daniela at Amusement Park</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8r7jr_QWZmkco0GFBvSAdK-ggkqZN4dKPAV_DlzQ3R3BQwqPadhIv7rHNoeehMEHvh0FxCXP70cytNKQakxUXwzvCBmsfuiTf1PGDHI42FHkxyyfYEEoYyxzawppjd6A-pBdZzSjaKDLk/s1600/944489_607238872628311_1562834029_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8r7jr_QWZmkco0GFBvSAdK-ggkqZN4dKPAV_DlzQ3R3BQwqPadhIv7rHNoeehMEHvh0FxCXP70cytNKQakxUXwzvCBmsfuiTf1PGDHI42FHkxyyfYEEoYyxzawppjd6A-pBdZzSjaKDLk/s1600/944489_607238872628311_1562834029_n.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fun at the Adams' Pool</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The end result is that Daniela is member of our family. She is a part of this crazy, unconventional, mixed up family here in Bethlehem, PA. We chat with Daniela periodically through social media; she keeps us up to date on her situation in general terms; every once in a while she lets her walls down and lets us get a glimpse of just how wonderful she can be; we get the privilege of seeing the real Daniela! We can be present when she smiles, when she laughs, when she is frustrated, when she is lonely and <i>that</i> is worth more than all the gold in the world. The feeling of being a part of her life is more any words would ever, ever convey. How do I know this? Just before Christmas I got a message from Daniela. She said "<span class="short_text" id="result_box" lang="lv"><span class="hps">Paldies.</span> <span class="hps">Es tevi</span> <span class="hps">mīlu." (Thanks, I love you). Still gets me choked up.</span></span><br />
<span class="short_text" id="result_box" lang="lv"><span class="hps"></span></span><br />
<br />
Now in 2014, we endeavor to expand our family even more - this time on a permanent basis. We have filed the necessary papers with the US government and have completed our home study. This adventure is only just beginning and we are overjoyed and excited for what God has in store for us.Phil Gentilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13243792048276309428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3660559002407420799.post-87177323992021334502013-12-03T07:24:00.004-08:002013-12-03T07:24:47.761-08:00Perfection Not RequiredLately it seems like there is a common thread running through the news articles and web sites that arrive in my email and news feeds. Those feeds coincide with a matter on which I am struggling of late - am I capable of being a good dad? To be more specific, what I struggle with is second-guessing and self-doubt. <br />
<br />
Here is what is going on in that scary place known as my head: I wonder if I am doing right by Peter these days. This is what started the hamster in the cage inside my noggin. Peter doesn't talk at all but he does try to communicate in ways he is able. Sometimes I get what it is he is trying to say - he speaks volumes with his eyes and body language. Sometimes I don't understand why he is slapping his head violently and throwing his little temper tantrums. In those times I sometimes lose what little patience I have and become very frustrated at not being able to decipher what is <i>really</i> going on with him. I find myself raising my voice sometimes and I HATE that. I really do. So I start to second guess myself and wonder if I am able to be the type of dad I want to be; do I have it in me?<br />
<br />
So, inspired by a video that was in my email last week ( <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mz-j_tg6QKY&feature=share">Fatherhood Project</a> ) I decided to call my Dad. We don't have very deep conversations on topics such as the meaning of life or life lessons in general. So when these questions and topics arise I relish the opportunity to pick his brains. The topic was brought up after the warm-up topics of politics (always a good ice-breaker). So I finally asked him if he ever second-guessed himself as a father when he was raising us kids. He laughed and said "Often." So the conversation continued for a few more minutes about parenting, things he might consider doing-over if he could go back in time and general advice from a 77 year old man to his 52 year old son. His wisdom came down to that which I already knew - no one ever gets it 100% correct all the time; most of the time you have to make an educated guess and hope that you won't do much, if any, harm. In other words, trial and error. <i>He said that you have to get to know and understand the child as an individual</i> - what worked for him where I was concerned did not necessarily work for my brother or sister.<br />
<br />
I also received this little gem in my news feed at about the same time (<a href="http://www.dailygood.org/story/588/when-you-listen-to-a-child-rachel-macy-stafford/?fb_action_ids=682942061737815&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=aggregation&fb_aggregation_id=288381481237582">Listening to a Child</a>). The author talks about a hands-free relationship with her kids meaning that she puts down the phone, the remote, the laptop, the magazine, etc. and listens to her children by giving them her complete attention. She talks about the relationship with her own dad and how he always gave her his attention. Her dad was not perfect - losing his temper, working too much, etc. - a lot like me - BUT when she spoke, her dad was present.<br />
<br />
There was period in my life - a very dark period - when I didn't notice or listen to anyone or anything. I was on a self-destructive tear. I purposely ignored that inner small voice that told me what already knew - that I was going in the wrong direction. I didn't care at the time; I just wanted to numb the pain. When I finally realized what was going on, I was trapped (or so it seemed). I called out to that inner voice, the One, and it answered. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3eMYvEgF-w">Hillsong United</a><br />
<br />
Ever since then I have done my best to sail a new course - a course of love, service and humility - charted by God. That new course has taken me to new heights I could never have dreamed of even asking for. The next leg of this journey will be a journey I thought would not be possible but my God is the Impossible-to-Possible God. With His help I believe my successes and stubbed toes earned along the road of life will make me a better man and a better dad. I look forward to the adventure in parenting.Phil Gentilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13243792048276309428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3660559002407420799.post-71745446822853123682013-11-19T12:51:00.003-08:002013-11-19T12:51:41.465-08:00Geez! That's A Lot of Money!!<div class="MsoNormal">
We've received a few questions about the costs of
adoption. So, we thought it would be a
good idea to let y'all know where the money is going (and no, it isn't going to
grease the skids).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u>Approximate Costs for Gentile Adoption (ONE CHILD)<o:p></o:p></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u>Adoption Agency Related Costs:</u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Application Fee $250</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Casework Services 1,750</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Adoption Management/ Hague Services 3,250</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Post Adoption Reports 1,000</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Apostille Documents
105</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dossier Translation & Processing 2,360</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Subtotal <i>8,750</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u>US Agency Costs:</u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
USCIS/background checks $2,595</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Home Study Report 2,500</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Airfare to <st1:country-region w:st="on">Latvia</st1:country-region> 2,500</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Subtotal <i>7,595</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on"><u>Latvia</u></st1:place></st1:country-region><u>
In Country Costs:</u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Trip 1 - attorney fees, driver, translator, etc $5,600</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Trip 2 - attorney fees, driver, translator, etc 5,600</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Trip 3 - attorney fees, driver, translator, etc. 3,500</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Subtotal <i>14,700</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
GRAND
TOTAL <b><u>$31,045</u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p>The costs would be a few thousand more to adopt more than one orphan during the time we are looking at K. So, adopting two kids might run $35,000 depending on what region of Latvia they are from.</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p>How does this compare to domestic adoptions or giving birth costs?</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
According to creatingafamily.org the costs of a domestic
adoption are pretty much the same as a Latvian adoption.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 3.75pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.7pt;">
<strong><span style="color: #333333;">US Birth
Mother Relinquishment Private Adoption</span></strong><span style="color: #333333;"><br />
<br />
</span>Average Cost - Working with an Agency: $34,012<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 3.75pt;">
Average Cost - Working with an
Attorney: $30,222<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 3.75pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.7pt;">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 3.75pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.7pt;">
According to CNN the
average cost of giving birth to a healthy baby in the <st1:country-region w:st="on">United States</st1:country-region> is
approximately $18,000 and $28,000 for a C-section.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 3.75pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.7pt;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Phil Gentilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13243792048276309428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3660559002407420799.post-16421202373199831342013-11-17T20:52:00.003-08:002013-11-17T20:55:09.196-08:00A New Definition of FamilyThe Oxford Dictionary defines "family" as: a group consisting of two parents and their children living together as a unit. Webster's Dictionary defines it as: a group of people who are related to each other.<br />
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<br />
This past weekend we had the pleasure of having some friends visit with us. They were here to do their required training for their upcoming Winter hosting of two teens from Latvia. They arrived late Friday night and were headed back home to western Pennsylvania by Sunday morning. Less than forty-eight hours and yet during that short period of time some magic happened.<br />
<br />
<br />
We first met Dorah in May of this year at the Summer hosting training for New Horizons. We spent the day with her and the other families who were hosting but it was less than eight hours after we first met that we were back in our respective cars and heading back to our respective homes. We stayed in touch since then and have grown closer. We both blogged our experiences over the summer and learned a lot about each other during this whole process. When she walked through the door Friday night it was like an old friend stopping by while passing the neighborhood. Big smiles all around and big hugs to go with them! We laughed, shared stories and discovered that we are both old movie buffs. In fact, I found out that Indiana, PA is Jimmy Stewart's hometown!!! I also learned that they do the town up just like Bedford Falls at Christmas time. (I feel a road trip coming!)<br />
<br />
<br />
We also hosted Bryan and Stephanie. We had never physically met before but only "met" in cyber world. they also regaled us with stories of how they all met each other and the many adventures they have shared during their friendship. The place was full of laughter and lively conversation on serious, and not serious, topics. Stephanie and Bryan are undertaking a fundraiser for their hosting - Stephanie is knitting and selling miniature Latvian mitten ornaments. They are priceless and we will be hanging them on our tree and our kids' tree in the future! What a great reminder of the cause and the love that went into each pair of mittens. By the end there were no "fugs" here (For those of you not in the know, a "fug" is a fake hug).<br />
<br />
<br />
The truth is we have a very, VERY unconventional family. We have Peter, who although he is technically not blood related to us, is very much considered a son to us. We have Dorah, Steph and Bryan under our family umbrella not to mention the dozens and dozens of our church members, friends and co-workers. But strangely enough, even people we have never actually met we feel a bond with and would welcome them into our home with lots of hugging and kissing - the Grahams, the Brysons, the Steinmanns, the Coxwells, the Rhoads, the Normans (the list could go on and on). Not blood related but family nonetheless.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCgs5KuyoaFN2J1knMEQuIDwlSpRVMe_85NTa9QpE9NNxbXH9pcLGNabCDf5ZYfdMis9ComsaoGbstKtUfJlRsOcY_WxIT8h1svUUQKSLAISbkR6escNrjykr_zANpIHM9bLMR4fd2TQEP/s1600/1457671_10151497922687325_1540806026_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCgs5KuyoaFN2J1knMEQuIDwlSpRVMe_85NTa9QpE9NNxbXH9pcLGNabCDf5ZYfdMis9ComsaoGbstKtUfJlRsOcY_WxIT8h1svUUQKSLAISbkR6escNrjykr_zANpIHM9bLMR4fd2TQEP/s1600/1457671_10151497922687325_1540806026_n.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />
Webster's also defines "family" as a group of people united by a common conviction. Here's the definition I like: a group of people united by a common thread - love. I'm liking that definition. I think K will fit right into that "family"!! Welcome to the family!Phil Gentilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13243792048276309428noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3660559002407420799.post-23783882138907276552013-11-10T16:50:00.002-08:002013-11-10T16:52:49.835-08:00Life in the Wild<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I don't believe in coincidences
anymore. Do you?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I don't believe that my life is
relegated to walking aimlessly through the parched, harsh, desert
landscape commonly known as life in search of something I couldn't
quite put my finger on. Do you?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I don't believe that I am measured by
what I have done or not done in the past or how many “toys” I've
accumulated along the way. Do you?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I used to believe that life was full of
coincidences, that society dictated whether or not I had “arrived”
and that the measure of a man was merely not screwing up too badly so
that I could avoid God's lightening bolts. I used to be the guy
happily motoring along in life blissfully ignorant of the conditions
of the road on which I was traveling. I have repeatedly gone on the
skydiving adventure refusing to jump out of the perfectly good, safe
airplane for the thrill of the adventure despite the parachute
strapped to my back. Not anymore. Don't get me wrong, I still
struggle with plenty of issues but I don't struggle with those
particular notions anymore; at least not today. Spiritual awakenings
have a way of altering your perspective and perception of what it is
really all about, about what is really going on.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
If you have read the first installment
in this chapter of our odyssey you know that we are pursuing adoption
of a young man from Latvia and, hopefully, one or two more souls for
our unconventional family. Much progress has been made in the
mechanics, the footwork, of making this dream a reality: papers have
been collected, applications have been filed, money has been raised,
new fundraisers have begun and prayers have been sent up. But that
is really just the prep work for the real work of art being created
here. The canvas has been placed on the easel, the brushes are neatly
placed on the table and the paint colors have been chosen and applied
to the palette. I know how I would like this painting to look at the
final brush stroke but in reality I have to be willing to go where
the Spirit leads. I have to be willing to let Spirit take its time;
willing to allow the art to burst forth from the canvas.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I have been reading a book called “Your
God Is Too Safe” by Mark Buchanan. It is quite an amazing book and
it is no coincidence that I just happen to be reading it now. As
best I can describe it Buchanan talks about the difference between
being “slow of heart” and “hearts burning” as described in
Luke 24:13-35. He discusses why we're stuck, where we're stuck and
why it is so difficult to see Christ even when He is walking beside
us. He lays into how we have become accustomed to living in the
borderland with a comfortable God, always willing to accept His
blessings, abundances and get-out-of-jail-free cards but ever so
reluctant to “follow Him” and the inherent uncomfortableness and
fear of the unknown that goes with that journey.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
This topic really challenges me in ways
I never even knew I was struggling, Buchanan analyzes the story of
the calling of Peter (Luke 5:1-11) where Jesus tells Peter to cast
the nets on the other side and they hit pay dirt, the mother load of
fish. Peter thinks he can have Jesus follow him, fish with him and
Peter can live the life of Reilly. Jesus has other plans and Peter
knows it when he turns and looks in His eyes. Peter knows that Jesus
wants him to <i>leave everything</i><span style="font-style: normal;">
– leave the job security, the prospects, the safety, everything
that Peter knows – for the unknown, the dangerous, the glorious,
the fulfilling, the life in the wild. And Peter begs Jesus to leave
him alone and move on – either Peter leaves everything or Jesus
leaves Peter. You know how that story goes.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I am all too much
like Peter in many ways but I like to think that this odyssey we are
engaged in with K and adoption is my way of following Christ. I feel
my heart burning for this adventure, this life in the wild. How do I
know it's the real deal? I think that I am supposed to be traveling
here in this patch of the wilderness as common sense would tell any
sane person that a man about to turn 52 should NOT be considering
starting a family. The world would say that I would be crazy to host
a teenage orphan girl from Latvia and love her unconditionally
despite her walls and fear. Society would consider me a fool for
“wasting my precious time” searching repeatedly for a young girl
from Ukraine that I connected with two years ago all in an effort to
let her know that she is loved and not forgotten. Thankfully, I
don't walk on the road that is nicely paved, safe and devoid of heart
and compassion. It turns out I didn't need to have my head examined,
I just needed to reignite my heart.</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
You may be asking
yourself, “Where is he going with all this? What does this have to
do with adoption?” As best as I can figure out it is this: The
command “Follow Me” has two underpinnings that are essential to
this little adventure. First, I am not leading the way – God is.
God is blazing the trail and clearing the way for me. God is not
asking me to do that which He is not willing to do with me. Second,
the path I walk is lit with love and compassion. As much as I would
like to have the road lit with spotlights so there are no shadows along the journey, the light is only a lamp at my
feet. Just enough light to see a few steps in front of me. So, on
this journey I am following God's lead, I will have faith and trust
that He knows the way, that I will take one step at a time.</div>
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If you would like
to be a part of this adventure there are many ways you can do this:
spread the word about this blog so people hear our story and God's
story being told through us; if you feel led, you can help us
financially by making a donation in any amount through our
fundraising site
(<a href="http://www.youcaring.com/adoption-fundraiser/forever-family-for-k/102572">http://www.youcaring.com/adoption-fundraiser/forever-family-for-k/102572</a>);
you can pray for us, for K and for all those kids (143,000,000 of
them in this world and counting) who are looking for a healthy,
loving family. See you in the wilderness.</div>
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Thank you.</div>
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Phil Gentilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13243792048276309428noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3660559002407420799.post-11002860125710559222013-11-05T17:59:00.003-08:002013-11-05T18:45:39.442-08:00This Is Your Son. Bring Him Home.As Eileen and I begin this adventure I can't help but feel that we have been working and moving toward this long before she and I ever met. It began in earnest over two years ago when we met a young woman from Ukraine. We were able to tangibly see a dramatic change in her and in us during a short 5 week period. It continued over this past summer when a feisty young woman came to visit from Latvia. It was not an easy journey with D during the first part of the visit but by the end there was no doubt she was a part of our family. Peter still misses her very much.<br />
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During our adventure this summer many people read our blog and laughed, cried and shared our frustrations along with us. Many people contributed financially, spiritually and made D feel welcome. They made her feel loved and like she had a family! Everyone involved in one way or another had an impact on this young woman. So much so that after she was back in Latvia she messaged us saying that she missed America. This coming from the girl who at the beginning of the trip <i>begged</i> to go back as soon as possible.<br />
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We heard from many people who thought we were nuts to put up with some of the nonsense we experienced along the way. Despite the trials we persisted in showing and giving love unconditionally. I admit there were plenty of moments of frustration and doubt whether it would work. But I held fast to the belief that God put her in our crazy, unconventional family for a reason. Sure enough, God's plan was better than anything I would have come up with. <i><b> Love triumphed over fear.</b></i><br />
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In early September we heard of a young man in Latvia who would soon become too old to adopt. Many of our friends were advocating for him. We did not know much about him except that he had a very tough life, had made some bad choices but, after being loved in a demonstrable way by people being the hands and feet of God, began to turn his life around. I felt drawn to him and we asked about him with our friend Ali. We couldn't do much of anything until mid October so we had to sit tight.<br />
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In the meantime, it appeared as if another family was interested in our guy and we were genuinely happy for him. He would have his "forever family" after all. However, by mid October the situation had changed for our guy and the window of eligibility was almost shut! It was as if we could hear God saying, "<b>This is your son. Bring him home.</b>" Phone calls were made, emails were flying and papers were completed in a matter of a few days. Those papers were filed with the authorities just in the nick of time and our guy's ineligibility clock was stopped! Phew!<br />
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This will be a long process. There will be many peaks and valleys but we are resolute in our belief that this is God's plan for us and for our family and for our guy in Latvia. Who knows? We may even be fortunate enough to be blessed with two new additions to our unconventional family. Wouldn't that be sweet!<br />
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PS - Due to the strict rules about the process we cannot mention his name or post any pictures of him but when it is all said and done ... <br />
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<br />Phil Gentilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13243792048276309428noreply@blogger.com1