Life in the Wild

I don't believe in coincidences anymore. Do you?

I don't believe that my life is relegated to walking aimlessly through the parched, harsh, desert landscape commonly known as life in search of something I couldn't quite put my finger on. Do you?

I don't believe that I am measured by what I have done or not done in the past or how many “toys” I've accumulated along the way. Do you?

I used to believe that life was full of coincidences, that society dictated whether or not I had “arrived” and that the measure of a man was merely not screwing up too badly so that I could avoid God's lightening bolts. I used to be the guy happily motoring along in life blissfully ignorant of the conditions of the road on which I was traveling. I have repeatedly gone on the skydiving adventure refusing to jump out of the perfectly good, safe airplane for the thrill of the adventure despite the parachute strapped to my back. Not anymore. Don't get me wrong, I still struggle with plenty of issues but I don't struggle with those particular notions anymore; at least not today. Spiritual awakenings have a way of altering your perspective and perception of what it is really all about, about what is really going on.

If you have read the first installment in this chapter of our odyssey you know that we are pursuing adoption of a young man from Latvia and, hopefully, one or two more souls for our unconventional family. Much progress has been made in the mechanics, the footwork, of making this dream a reality: papers have been collected, applications have been filed, money has been raised, new fundraisers have begun and prayers have been sent up. But that is really just the prep work for the real work of art being created here. The canvas has been placed on the easel, the brushes are neatly placed on the table and the paint colors have been chosen and applied to the palette. I know how I would like this painting to look at the final brush stroke but in reality I have to be willing to go where the Spirit leads. I have to be willing to let Spirit take its time; willing to allow the art to burst forth from the canvas.

I have been reading a book called “Your God Is Too Safe” by Mark Buchanan. It is quite an amazing book and it is no coincidence that I just happen to be reading it now. As best I can describe it Buchanan talks about the difference between being “slow of heart” and “hearts burning” as described in Luke 24:13-35. He discusses why we're stuck, where we're stuck and why it is so difficult to see Christ even when He is walking beside us. He lays into how we have become accustomed to living in the borderland with a comfortable God, always willing to accept His blessings, abundances and get-out-of-jail-free cards but ever so reluctant to “follow Him” and the inherent uncomfortableness and fear of the unknown that goes with that journey.

This topic really challenges me in ways I never even knew I was struggling, Buchanan analyzes the story of the calling of Peter (Luke 5:1-11) where Jesus tells Peter to cast the nets on the other side and they hit pay dirt, the mother load of fish. Peter thinks he can have Jesus follow him, fish with him and Peter can live the life of Reilly. Jesus has other plans and Peter knows it when he turns and looks in His eyes. Peter knows that Jesus wants him to leave everything – leave the job security, the prospects, the safety, everything that Peter knows – for the unknown, the dangerous, the glorious, the fulfilling, the life in the wild. And Peter begs Jesus to leave him alone and move on – either Peter leaves everything or Jesus leaves Peter. You know how that story goes.

I am all too much like Peter in many ways but I like to think that this odyssey we are engaged in with K and adoption is my way of following Christ. I feel my heart burning for this adventure, this life in the wild. How do I know it's the real deal? I think that I am supposed to be traveling here in this patch of the wilderness as common sense would tell any sane person that a man about to turn 52 should NOT be considering starting a family. The world would say that I would be crazy to host a teenage orphan girl from Latvia and love her unconditionally despite her walls and fear. Society would consider me a fool for “wasting my precious time” searching repeatedly for a young girl from Ukraine that I connected with two years ago all in an effort to let her know that she is loved and not forgotten. Thankfully, I don't walk on the road that is nicely paved, safe and devoid of heart and compassion. It turns out I didn't need to have my head examined, I just needed to reignite my heart.

You may be asking yourself, “Where is he going with all this? What does this have to do with adoption?” As best as I can figure out it is this: The command “Follow Me” has two underpinnings that are essential to this little adventure. First, I am not leading the way – God is. God is blazing the trail and clearing the way for me. God is not asking me to do that which He is not willing to do with me. Second, the path I walk is lit with love and compassion. As much as I would like to have the road lit with spotlights so there are no shadows along the journey, the light is only a lamp at my feet. Just enough light to see a few steps in front of me. So, on this journey I am following God's lead, I will have faith and trust that He knows the way, that I will take one step at a time.

If you would like to be a part of this adventure there are many ways you can do this: spread the word about this blog so people hear our story and God's story being told through us; if you feel led, you can help us financially by making a donation in any amount through our fundraising site (http://www.youcaring.com/adoption-fundraiser/forever-family-for-k/102572); you can pray for us, for K and for all those kids (143,000,000 of them in this world and counting) who are looking for a healthy, loving family. See you in the wilderness.

Thank you.